Listless

The Canadian Border Services Agency have a page of info dedicated to lucky souls moving back to Canada. This page describes in reasonable detail how to properly declare all the foreign spoils you're bringing back into the country with you. Lucky for us, everything we have to import (including our now-infamous 18 boxes, which arrived six days ahead of schedule) falls under personal effects, on which we aren't required to pay any tax. At the bottom of this page is a reference – not a link (?) – to a document lovingly named B4. B4 is a Personal Effects Accounting Document which all returning residents need to complete and present to the border guard when returning to Canada. Goods sent ahead or afterward need to be listed separately from those which you bring with you when you come, and everything needs a description, value, and even serial number (if applicable). Since I know you're all curious folk, here's my list:

PROPERTY LIST

SENT IN ADVANCE
-175 used books (value 600 CAD)
-binders, papers, instructional materials (value 0)
-2 blankets (value 100 CAD)
-2 board games (value 20 CAD)
-2 photo albums (value 0)
-6 picture frames (value 10 CAD)
-5 magazines (value 0)
-3 notebooks (value 10 CAD)
-personal office supplies (value 10 CAD)
-1 toy camera (value 25 CAD – purchased in Canada 2001)
-1 optical mouse (value 20 CAD)
-1 set watercolour paints (value 0)
-4 glass candleholders (value 20 CAD)
-2 small boxes of souvenirs (value 0)
-1 costume wig (value 10 CAD)
-120 audio CDs (value 200 CAD)
-14 DVDs (value 200 CAD)
-1 pr headphones (value 50 CAD)
-1 KORG EA-1 synthesizer (value X CAD)
-1 KORG ER-1 synthesizer (value X CAD)
-1 KORG synthesizer keyboard
-1 pr M-Audio monitor speakers
-1 x-Session DJ controller
-1 Hercules DJ controller
-1 Ableton Live computer software
-1 M-Audio Midisport interface
-20 audio/video cables
-1 Archos MP3 records
-1 Sanyo digital voice recorder
-1 Kodak Super8 film splicer
-25 reels Super8 home films
-1 Canon 514XL-S Canosound Super8 film camera
-72 vinyl records
-1 2-person MEC tent
-2 sleeping bags
-1 wool poncho
-12 wine glasses
-8 ceramic dishes
-2 large Iittala glass vases
-1 small Iittala glass dish
-1 small glass teapot
-2 glass mugs
-7 painted glass cups
-3 metal tins
-2 Iittala glass goblets
-1 large metal Iittala dish
-2 Japanese sushi knives
-15 ceramic mugs and cups (Arabia Finland)
-1 stainless steel salt and pepper
-1 stainless steel cream and sugar
-40 pc. stainless steel silverware
-1 knife sharpener
-6 small plates
-6 dinner plates
-12 ceramic bowls
-1 stainless steel shot glass
-1 wooden box
-3 ceramic plant feeders
-2 small glasses
-1 glass bottle
-1 small felt mat
-1 small wooden tray
-1 metal paperweight
-1 egg timer
-1 ceramic soap dish
-1 small box sewing notions (scissors, pins, thread, etc.)
-4 video games
-personal photographs, letters
-6 pairs gloves
-2 scarves
-4 hats
-2 dresses
-1 ski suit
-1 winter jacket
-9 women’s handbags
-4 men’s ties
-2 men’s suits
-4 towels
-3 jackets
-3 shawls
-2 housecoats
-1 men’s pajamas
-19 plastic clothes hangers
-6 pairs women’s shoes
-3 pairs boots
-2 pairs hiking boots
-4 women’s sweaters
-1 pair ski pants
-2 sets long underwear
-25 Xmas ornaments
-4 Xmas stockings
-2 men’s winter jackets
-10 fridge magnets
-1 laptop bag
-1 screwdriver set
-1 feather boa
-candy
-2 sets curtains

IMPORTED WITH ME:
-1 Apple Powerbook G4 laptop computer (2000CAD)
-1 4GB iPod mini (200 CAD)
-1 Samsung SGH-D900 mobile phone (400 CAD)
-1 Panasonic LUMIX DMC LX-2 digital camera (600 CAD)
-1 Nikon F-55 film camera (300 CAD)
-2 diamond wedding rings (1000 CAD)
-1 CROSS black metal fountain pen (100 CAD)
-1 PEUGEOT women’s 21-speed bicycle (400 CAD- purchased in Canada 2000)
-12 pairs women’s pants
-2 umbrellas
-1 large crocheted blanket
-11 skirts
-25 t-shirts
-6 blouses
-3 bikinis
-50 undergarments
-1 pr slippers
-15 women’s sweaters
-5 handbags
-3 pr sunglasses
-7 pairs women’s shoes
-3 hats
-6 dresses
-22 data CDs
-personal documents, keepsakes, costume jewelry
-toiletries, makeup
-prescription medicines (birth control pills, minor infections)
-6 pr contact lenses

The funny thing (aside from the whole stupidly long and embarrassing list of stuff I just listed for the world to see, that is) as those of you who couldn't resist downloading it from the link provided above will notice, is that B4 provides exactly 6 lines in which to list this information. Since the page clearly states that "Goods that arrive later will qualify for free importation under your entitlement as a former resident only if they are on your list," I have to assume they don't want me to summarize. At first I planned on simply tagging a full list onto the form, but then I found B4's longer, lankier brother, B4A. B4A is exactly what I was looking for, a nice long page of empty fields where I can list my egg timers (you know that one was just for fun, a la Cpn Hook) and costume accessories in roomy comfort – note that page [blank] of [blank] at the top right! In fact I'm a bit hurt that the CBSA tried to hide him from me under the guise of a related yet separate yet equally obscure file name. So I mention him here to save you the trouble, should you ever suffer from overly long lists someday. Ta.

Preloading (warning OT)

There's this theory that you can beat jetlag by simply readjusting your daily routine to match that of your destination. We are putting this to the test this week, in the interests of science, of course, as well as the interests of stamina, as, well, if we thought this week was hard...basically our whole move up to this point has been focused on the goal of this Sunday, when we get on the plane and arrive in TO on the other end. What we're now realizing is that this purported goal was really more like a halfway point between two states of inertia known as Normal Life.
You know, moving sucks, but really at the moment it's the social life that's killing me. Since my last post I have met with, eaten/drank/drank more with, and bid farewell to approximately 77 people, and while each individual meeting has been very important and meaningful, as a mass the process has been emotionally and physically exhausting. A girl can only withstand so many lunch/patio/dinner/midnight swimming dates in a single day...and yes, I do take full responsibility for each and every one.
Our official going-away party was last weekend, and involved forty-odd happy, beautiful people, a rooftop patio with sauna and grill, and a whole lot of sunshine. I am personally proud of my new cava-marathon record, a whopping seven hours of steady, measured consumption! It was, if I do say so myself, a total blowup, and everyone had too much fun. I had a chance to stuff my friends full of food and drink and kind words and get plenty of same in return. This part of leaving is like a drug, it feels wonderful at the time but ultimately leaves you a bit low.
The last two days have been mad with running around, completing a billion tiny tasks one at a time, like returning library books, returning emails, taking old clothes to the donation box, mailing last-minute boxes (BTW our July 31 boxes arrived in TO Aug 9, a full six days ahead of schedule!), dropping off borrowed dishes, etc, etc, etc. I have mastered the art of round trips, heading out the door with as much as I can carry and hitting two or three spots in one go. Between each round is a coffee/beer/glass of wine with someone I won't be seeing for an indefinite period of time. It is wonderful and terrible and completely exhausting.
What is really causing my vertigo though is the realisation that on the opposite side of this perpetual downhill ride a whole other set of parties, hellos, family, jobs, apartments, furniture, and general mayhem awaits. Both of my parents called me today, reminding me of the world that exists beyond the gate at the airport. I have been so busy here that I completely forgot to inform either of them of our schedule, address in TO, etc.
I would recommend at least a month off on either side of flight day for anyone attempting this kind of transatlantic migration; I finished work last Friday, Aug 3 – ahem – which would make this week the first of my holiday/unemployment. I ate lunch at 4.30 today, and had crackers for dinner. I am too busy to put on sunscreen (and Helsinki is HOT). But despite the exhaustion and melancholy I am deliriously happy.

Friday

I had a grand plan of documenting the fantastic growing pile of boxes through photos but at some point after Friday (which was, I am well aware, five whole days ago now) I cleverly packed away my camera so this is all you get. Try to visualize, though, if you will, a total of seven of those little plastic blue ones plus six of those smaller brown cardboard ones, plus that one enormous cardboard meanie, plus a couple oddly shaped extras, and you'll have an idea of what we took to Posti yesterday. I also wish I had a photo of the expression on the guy at the counter's face as he added it all up. Those of you who wish to guess at the final cost (the actual retail price without going over) are welcome to do so, but I'll give you a hint: it was about one-fifth the worth of the actual goods inside. Which is actually a good argument for shipping (i.e. burning oil) rather than replacing (i.e. filling landfill).
Between then and now we had a two-day long marathon of a garage sale at our house, through which we availed ourselves of the great majority of our worldly possessions (read: Mr. O's bachelor furniture, my espresso machine, one nice lamp and a pile of junk), avoiding both the aforementioned environmental crimes and providing us with fuzzy feelings all over to think of our old things in happy new homes. Luckily we supplemented our bargain-basementing with a heavy dose of nightlife, which meant that by the time Monday rolled around I was right shattered and ready for a nice relaxing day off. And so I started packing the rest of our stuff to move out Tuesday.
Tuesday was the really busy day, starting at 10 with a trip to the cafe for a latte (no espresso machine!) in the pouring rain. Mr. O went to get the truck and we loaded up the dregs of our sale to take to the recycling centre, which also takes broken appliances, etc. If I wasn't moving away, I would have spent some serious time rummaging around in there, but as it was I had to live vicariously through the guys who snatched up Mr. O's abandoned crates of records (I know) like sea gulls on an ice cream cone. Then we came back for the load bound for Canada and spent two hours at Posti filling in customs forms and watching the staff throw our boxes around (did I mention that I ROCK at packing?). Then it was back for the rest of the furniture, some of which went to a friend and some came to stay at the place we're living now – so we have another two weeks with our own bed, washing machine, and coffee table. Uncanny, really.

I can't remember the last time I was this tired. But we arrived at our temporary home safe and sound last night, nestled between the cheap&good Italian place and the bowling alley. Phew.

It's only been 46 years...

As I work my two beloved jobs right through the summer (no posh Finnish six-week vacation for this freelancer with no job waiting in TO), Mr. O has been crossing things off a long list. One of these has been The Documents, which first had to be translated (traded a friend's services for our big off-white shag wool rug), and then notarized, legalized, etc. at three or four different offices, which is not only a big pain in the ass, but also expensive. According to Mr. O, the Notary Public in Finland charges €6 per document, then the Foreign Ministry of Finland charges €20 per document, and then the Canadian Embassy (God bless 'em) charges $50, which is about €35 per document. For five documents (the bare minimum) the grand total is 305 euros, or 436.67 CAD. This turned out to be the reason behind the recent muttering and one ranting email...and I had to admit it seemed a bit exorbitant.

Most countries avoid this kind of extortionist Brazilian bureaucracy (the film, not the country) with a fancy little thing called the Hague Convention of 1961 Abolishing the Requirement of Legalisation for Foreign Public Documents. (If that kind of thing makes you hot you can read the full text.) Pretty much everybody and their mother, certainly the rest of the formerly-known-as-the Commonwealth, has signed this puppy, like, before I was born. But not my motherland. Nope, apparently the provinces have their own special ways of notarizing things (everybody gets their own stamp) and the federal government body known as DFAIT has been slaving tirelessly for the past 46 years to push it through on the federal level. If that's the kind of thing that gets you hot, you can read the weird PDF.

So let's recap:

2 certificates for getting an Ontario driver's licence
+1 spotless criminal record
+2 population data records
________________________
Nearly the same price as our second-hand, mint condition, queen-sized Sealy Posturepedic Sweet Escape Eurotop (Health Plus) mattress, giftwrapped in an allergen/spill protection cover and purchased in advance today from a nice girl on Craigslist. And I'll have that mattress for at least 46 years.

Keepin it in the family

So a few months back, as I told her about our plans to furnish our new place completely in recycled and vintage furniture, appliances, etc., my GTA born-and-bred girl Alli mentioned that her grandparents were moving out of their place, and might have a big old table for us. With grandparents it can go either way, but Alli doesn't seem the type to have shelves of china dogs in her family so I asked her to send photos. The attached is a bit blurry, but just look at the line on that leg. 25+ years old, solid Danish teak. Closed, the whole thing is as long as I am, while opened it could fit all eight of my brothers and sisters plus Mr. O and myself comfortably. You'll also notice a matching sideboard – how I love it when things come with matching sideboards! Needless to say Alli is happy to keep it in the family, and we are proud to have our very first piece of grownup furniture, complete with history, no assembly required. Anybody willing and able to lend a hand to drag the beast home from Kingston will earn him- or herself a place around it, fo sho.

Packing day

As of today our apartment (all whopping 60m2 of it) has been divided into two camps: keeping and leaving. The keeping camp is, theoretically at least, smaller and more precious than the leaving side, which is a side only metaphorically, as it includes all of our furniture, which will remain evenly dispersed across the aforementioned tiny territory that is our home for another 17 days.

In fact the whole thing is barely a metaphor at the moment, but hopefully as the week progresses a clearer picture will emerge...ordering boxes on Monday and somehow doubting that the original 10 will be enough. We have, to be blunt, a whole lot of crap. I am, right now, publicly declaring that I shall not be purchasing another item of clothing or footwear before I leave. Nor books. Not a one. So there. But I'm not at the sacrifice-making point yet. We're going to Pori Jazz next weekend, after which the real line will be drawn. In fact, my whole schema for life is now divided into Things I Need to Do Before PJ and Things That Can Be Done Afterward. It's been working quite well, thus far, as anybody who knows me knows how much I loathe moving. Ironic, masochistic even, but true.

At least that nagging feeling that this is all a huge, horrible mistake has disappeared. Helsinki has been beautiful this summer and I've been, ahem, drinking it all in, taking midnight bike rides, seeing beautiful friends, etc., so I think that that's made it easier, actually. We just spent a week in the archipelago which has also left me very appreciative and zen. I'm still sorry to leave, of course, but I'm also getting very excited to arrive...

One month and counting

I have been a bad immigrant, out bike riding instead of in blogging. Time has been moving fast, and yesterday we passed the one-month-left mark while wrapping up a week at a tiny sauna cabin on the Finnish archipelago.
No rest for the wicked, however, and things have been moving along; we have an apartment, apparently, although the landlord hasn't mailed us the lease or cashed our deposit cheque yet, so hopefully it will still be there when we land. We've also sold almost all of our furniture, and expect more to go at our sale. We gave up our lease on our flat here in Helsinki and will move into a friend's place around the corner on August 1. I think I'm going to keep my phone number till August 15th or so. What am I forgetting?